Updated: Oct 6, 2021
God woke me up at 1 am for a chat. He showed me the error of my ways. I've been high on Christ, buzzed up by the Holy Spirit. I've been feeling God's presence pumping through my veins and I've been mistaking that for "enough". I haven't been asking for guidance because I felt I was just being led by the Holy Spirt. He showed me that even though I have God powered fuel in my tank, I still need him to map out my way. I still need to consult him and ask for guidance. I still need God, even if I am superpowered by the Holy Spirit. It reminds me a lot of the time between stopping drinking and having a program to help keep me sober. It's like that moment between one trapeze and another when the acrobat is not hanging on to either. If I want to take the acrobat illustration out further, what I need to be doing is hanging on to both...but that's where it falls apart. The Holy Spirit and God are both necessary, as is Jesus. I need all three. I'm learning. God is teaching me. He helped me get through the self pity of the light side of my scales of justice (not God's) and now he's showing me how to really step into his light. I wish there were a word bigger than gratitude. Gratitude was used to describe how I felt before. Now it's bigger and deeper.