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I am not qualified to define justice

Updated: Oct 6, 2021

We are in a little battle with a contractor we hired to do our windows. The salesman did something he said he wouldn't do and because of this we lost our trust in the company and wanted to cancel our contract. We gave them a deposit and I want it all back. They want to keep some of it because they gave the salesman his commission. Since he lied, I don't think I should have to pay any of his commission. They are having an issue with asking him for the money back.

I've been negotiating with one of the owners and so far we've been cordial, understanding but having a hard time coming to an agreement. The ball is in their court right now.

I woke up with the usual "self will run riot" mind as I like to call it. My mind runs off thinking about everything that I really have asked God to handle. I wasn't thinking about the battle, I was just thinking about the rest of my day. It starts off with me praying and then my mind wanders off. I'll catch myself and bring it back and a few moments later it will wander off again. When I got to the supplication part of my prayer process, I blurted out that I am worried about what will happen if we don't get all our money back from them. I know that when I feel betrayed by people, I feel betrayed by God for not protecting me. That incorrect thought 'habit" is responsible for a lot, maybe all, of my mental anguish. I was worried that this perceived injustice by people will make me feel abandoned by God and it will send me into the hole. I was also worried that it would shake Phill's baby faith and I wouldn't be able to help because I was in the hole. God suggested that I bring this to Phill and leave out the part about me worrying about him. I am so thankful to God for the way He answers my prayers.

I got up and took this to Phill. I told him what I was worried about and he said he had been thinking about this too. We had only been up for an hour and God had already synced us and helped us with our situation. Phill said "Let's just take what they offer and move on. It isn't worth the fight." I wasn't expecting that. It was another "who are you and what have you done with my husband" moments. Secretly, I had had this fleeting thought yesterday but dismissed it because I really believed that getting all the money back was right. I still told him my fears because I needed to say out loud what I was worried about so I could talk myself into the answer.

Who am I to decide what justice looks like? Who am I to decide that giving us our money back is the end result that is the most in line with God's will? When I turned this over to God yesterday did I really turn it over or did I tell him that I trusted him to force my version of justice on the situation? I chose to leave this in God's hands. I chose to fully trust that if we are losing some money that it is in God's divine will. I chose to believe that there is more to the story and it is none of my business. I chose to obedient to His will and stop fighting against it. I have no delusions that this is a one and done, but at least I'm thinking right at the moment.

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